God’s Children Keep Hurting Me.

Lecrae reminded me to share about my painful experiences with God’s own people.

Here’s an excerpt from a Christian Post article in 2021.

Efe Johnson referenced Lecrae, this year, and I saw it on X.

I saw this tweet on the 6th of April 2024.

I have been lied against by a church leader and punished to the point that I had to admit to an offence I didn’t commit. The lie of another church leader, a reverend to be exact, cost me a life-changing opportunity. I was abused by church people, in ways that only the devil’s own should operate.

I have gotten no justice, as far as I can see. I have cried and ‘crode’. I just recently began to regulate my anxiety levels better. Trusting people can be a chore. Sadly, healing from one incident has not meant protection from another. Recovery has cost me years and opportunities.

So the question is IF GOD’S OWN ARE EVIL, ISN’T HE EVIL TOO?

A church girl…

Honestly, I have struggled to understand why God allows His children to be so mean. I mean, He could have stopped their tongues or paralyzed their hands before they hurt me. And I cannot point at what I have done to deserve any of this.

After several years, I have reached a conclusion.

God’s children are still human, as human as other humans. The presence of the Holy Spirit is not the absence of their power to choose. A Yorùbá proverb states that the child of a lion acts like a lion but God is not a lion neither are we.

God is good but his children can misbehave. His goodness cannot be rubbished because of His disobedient children.

It’s really hard but I choose to dwell on God’s goodness, even if His children hurt me again. And He knows I need His help to achieve this.

PS: My heart cry is may I not be a steady stream of hurt for God’s children. May I not be a constant hurter of God’s beloved.

A Woman & Her Celibacy

So there’s this thing– I want to remain a virgin/celibate till I get married as a gift to my husband.

It’s God’s will for us to abstain from sex outside marriage but our motivation for this should not be man.

This was my friends’ church wedding in Ibadan, Nigeria.

You’d just be sorely disappointed. The probability of men having this mindset is lower. Sexual purity is part of our worship to God. If you want to give him gifts, buy land or a device. Better still, buy shares or crypto.

By the way, the Bible never stated that being a virgin automatically gives you a great marriage.

Let’s stop deceiving ourselves. Even being a tongue-speaker and miracle-worker does not guarantee a healthy union.

Learn. Heal. Be humble. Let the Holy Spirit be the third strand.

Conflicts arise in all marriages, godly or not. The hymen-breaking doesn’t change men.

Memories from Primary School…

Ani Chizoba was my classmate, back in Aries Nursery and Primary School, Orita-Challenge, Ibadan. She was fair-complexioned. She was also taller than I was. We lost touch after we graduated from primary school. Yet her name stuck and I can still see a half of her smile.

Malik Rosemary Tina Brown was another classmate in that school. Her mother was a hairstylist so she often came to school with adult hairstyles. I remember that the school secretary angrily told her to tell her mum to stop styling her hair, that way. She left soon after.

This picture is from some years later. I don’t have any pictures from that time.

There was also Michael. I can’t remember his surname; he was Hausa. His father was a soldier and his younger sister, Jemima, had very long hair. As a child, he was in an accident that shortened his right leg. We were very good friends. In the midst of a school term, he left abruptly.

I remember Precious too. She was part-Jamaican, part-Bini. She wanted me to be her friend by force. Whenever she was naughty, I’d say that I didn’t want to be friends with her. Then she’d start crying with tears dripping down her face. Our class teacher would beg me to reconcile with her. She left too.

I’m all grown-up now. 😍 Still, the memories remain.

Bimpe Ade-something was the one with the tall tale of how her family had a hundred dustbins in their house. I wonder why she gravitated towards me even though I was a new pupil.

Korede Alao lived with his uncle who was a politician. In their house, they never measured rice with tin cups because they had to cook a lot. That was strange to me. He told me that his uncle’s wife was mean and he gave evidence. He was many years older but he was quite kind.

And there was me, the pupil who joined the class in the second term of Primary 3. The school was some distance away from my house and I had to cross a busy road to get there. My classmates nicknamed me ‘pink lips’ and I felt bad. I wish I didn’t. They also made jest of my legs because they were not straight.

When most of my classmates wrote the Common Entrance Exam in Primary 4, my parents insisted that I stayed till Primary 5.
I didn’t like it back then. I am glad that they said that, though.

The funny thing is I have not seen all the people in the previous slides since then. I liked listening to those radio programmes where the anchor helped people find their friends that they had lost touch with.

I attended three primary schools and three secondary schools. You can imagine the number of people that I have lost contact with. Facebook helped with reconnecting some of them.

Do you like reconnecting with friends from your past?

Life with Fashion’s Lens

I got a piece of gorgeous ankara fabric sewn into a crop-top and high-waist combo. Then I decided to pair it with ankle boots. I thought that if you could pair other fabrics with boots, why not if not? 🤔

I shared photos of this outfit on WhatsApp.

I got some flak, in the midst of the many sweet compliments. Somebody even said that they would have to start styling me. Honestly, I just haha-ed in response.

We don’t get to pick how people react to our expressions of creativity and inspiration. So I am encouraging you to be kind, godly and law-abiding with your gifts but never suppress them to get man’s approval. You would definitely fail at pleasing everyone so don’t even try to.

😍

This incident reminds me of when I was in secondary school and I created hairstyles for myself, weekly. On my way to the hairdressers’, I’d get inspired and my hairdressers were always willing to bring my dreams to life.😁

They weren’t my agemates; one of them has daughters that are older than I am. Yet they didn’t despise me. My classmates anticipated my creations every Monday morning and their reactions were never alike. A liked last week’s hairstyle but hated this week’s. B loved both and C hated both styles.

Well, all the opinions had no effect on my creative hairstyling (I wish I had pictures of that season). I carried on.

I drew a vital life lesson from this even though I forget sometimes– DON’T BE SOLD OUT TO PLEASING PEOPLE.

Happy 5th Bloggingversary to Me! 🎊

Today’s my 5th blogging anniversary and this would be my shortest post so far.😁

Blogging has been a growth-filled ride. It has taken a lot from me and it has given back lots more.

Take a sneak peek at my personal blog- www.lifewithtkl.wordpress.com

In the last five years, I have learnt that:

– likes and comments are not the true measure of the quality of my writing.

– consistency matters, even when everywhere is silent.

– I should not give up!

😁

I am grateful for all my readers from different countries in the world. I have also enjoyed guest-blogging too, all thanks to the bloggers who have given my voice platforms.

I am grateful to God for this gift. God, I’m indeed grateful.

Fun Fact: I wrote for other blogs for years before starting mine. 😁😎

A Short One!

I want us to have these hard conversations on ‘taboo topics’ within the church because Jesus said we should go into the world. He didn’t say we should stay safe in the church and stay with the reached. God wants us to reach everyone.

Yet we need to be equipped for this assignment with God’s love and practical steps (inspired by His wisdom). Or we would just chase people further into the devil’s embrace.

I remember sharing about masturbation and pornography, some time ago. Those are stuff that people within and outside the church deal with. Yet many of them do not get the help they need in the church. I really want us, my contacts and I, to be lights for Jesus.

The probability that you know at least one person who struggles with same-sex attraction, gender dysphoria or someone who is LGBTQIA+ is not slim. God needs you to represent Him to them and not in condemnation and self-righteousness.

Loving them doesn’t equal affirming sin.

Love Isn’t Selfish…

They say that I look like her. In fact, Ìyá Agbẹ̀bí, my grandmother, said that she’s grateful that I am a visual reminder of her.

We had all thought that she was now safe- she had crossed the 40-year mark. She was glowing. She had finally gotten engaged (after years of relationship troubles).

Suddenly, she slipped from our hands.
And she’s one reason that I would say that genotype compatibility is crucial.

My aunt was a sickle cell warrior. And it was a hard and long journey. Apart from the physical agony, she was not happy. It’s not easy to live with the fact that your pain could have been avoided if some people had been more informed and careful.

I really do not believe that you should bring a child to suffer when this world already has many tribulations to offer. I don’t think God’s in support of such a selfish action. It’s not easy to let go of somebody you love because of genotype incompatibility. Yet it’s a worthy sacrifice. Don’t be selfish; love isn’t.

Unfortunately, I don’t have a picture of my aunt. I think my mum does.

I celebrate every sickle-cell warrior. Life’s hard; the cells’ shape make it harder. God is with you, through this journey.

If you know any sickle-cell warrior, you should Google ways of adding some ease to their lives.

They are not lazy or hypochondriac.

Encourage them to drink more water and eat right. Help them relax; you can give them a massage. Alcohol does not help- assist them to steer clear. Be a support system.

😇You are Boring; Blame not the Bible! 😁

The Bible is not boring 💤 . You are the one who is boring. 😎

I would like to encourage you to stop studying the Bible with solely the KJV version as a 21st-century Christian. There are so many words in this version that are inconsistent with our current understanding of the English language.

Yes, a brilliant smile! 😊 God gave me.

That’s one of the reasons that the Bible bores you. Verily I say unto thou, how dost thou thinketh that you wouldst find pleasure in old English?

I am also aware that watered-down versions of the English Bible exist. What do I do/advise?

1. Use more than one version.

Read across versions as this helps you gain a more robust understanding of what each verse says. Personally, I love using all the 6 versions in this screenshot as I study.

A screenshot of The Devotional Bible app

2. Use a dictionary.

There are words that you don’t have a full understanding of. Each word carries meaning.

3. Use Google to understand some cultural and geographical nuances. You can freeze your social media apps so you won’t be distracted.

4. I know this will take some time but that’s why it is Bible Study. Don’t get me started on how much social media consumes time. Create time for your Bible Study or you would keep saying that there was no time.

Thank God that the Bible is now accessible to ordinary people, unlike when only the priests had access.

By the way, the Bible app I use is the Devotional Bible although I don’t read the devotions in it. I use the 6 versions on it and my hard-copy Bible (RSV).

Also, if you want to grow as a believer, you cannot be reading your church/favourite pastor’s devotional alone. The devotional is not the Bible. Haa!

You cannot just be listening to only messages and podcasts, if you want to grow in truth. They are not the Bible!

Read your Bible,
Pray every day (3×),
Read your Bible,
Pray every day,
If you want to grow.

Study the Bible. If you can’t afford to buy one yet, download one.

© Toluwanimi Lazarus (2023)

My (20+x)th Birthday

My heart is full, very full.

I had a beautiful birthday! I prayed for God to surprise me…

For some reason, I couldn’t sleep on my birthday eve. I watched a movie with my younger sister and we enjoyed it. It was about the restoration of a family whose father had previously been very dictatorial.

Afterwards, I couldn’t sleep for hours even after I begged God for sleep. My mind was mulling over some issues so I was stressed (by the way, I had planned that I would not think of anything sad). I did not know that I needed to see some things in the Bible.

God helped me to see them and I fell asleep.

Granola from my solo date! 😁

I woke up to see missed calls. Of course, I had work (my 9-to-6 job) to attend to.

I first listened to a surprise message that drove me to tears. Mummy Wilson sent me a voice note to me and it was the best start to the day.

By the way, I had started getting gifts before my birthday. My sister, Aduramigba, was the first giver. God bless her. 😁

The Js (the Adeola children and their mum) sent me a recording of them singing birthday songs to me. They have such beautiful voices. In Nigerian lingo, I crode (I cried). Sarah, one of my closest friends, made videos featuring her sweet twins- her son sang for me in his Americana voice. 😂

My friends called and called. I have hundreds of messages and I would finish replying them tomorrow. People recounted experiences they had had with me and I am overwhelmed by what God has made of me. I am so grateful that my heart is full.

By the way, I had no plans to go out because the governorship elections are tomorrow and there has been tension in my state. I had gone on a solo date, last Sunday, so that covered for it, I guess. I’d admit that I got a bit antsy in the evening but it was already getting late by the time I was dressed up. So I did not go.

This shot is from the solo date where I consumed strawberry-and-caramel-flavoured parfait and got street shawarma as takeout.

PS- I have been coughing for quite a while but e don disappear. Thank you, Jesus!

Sidenote: It’s almost two weeks since I wrote this post and celebrated my birthday. Somebody else promised a trip and I look forward to it. I have still not finished responding to the birthday wishes. I am sorry.😔 I got rejections for two offers last night and this afternoon but I am trusting God that He never drops me. God carries me. 😁

I saw this picture in so many places and I am grateful for the blessing from God to be a blessing. To Jesus be my glory!

Smell Sweet, Please. 🙏🏾😁

I fell in love with wearing sweet scemts when I was in JSS1 when my mum got me two roll-on deodorants. One was in liquid form and the other was a perfume stick. I liked combining them.

When I started attending Queen’s School, Ibadan, some alumna who visited told us that if you don’t have a bottle of perfume, you can just take some face powder and dab on your cleavage and stomach. I tried it and it worked. Then I grew older and I used scents more. Sometimes, I use one. Other times, I use two or three. It depends on the way I feel. I have also given and received perfumes as gifts.

Here’s my current fragrance collection. One is a gift. Two are sprays.

I enjoy using fragrances- perfumes, body sprays, roll-ons, cologne and perfume oils. They make me smell great. I actually like it when you hug me and a sweet savour reaches your nostrils. I have had people audibly breathed in when they embraced me (that’s a bit creepy, by the way). 😅I have a few favourites but I also like to explore brands.

I like this picture. 😊

By the way, I have heard that perfumes are satanic or demonic.

I completely disagree. God gave many flowers and plants sweet smells. Some great scents are even derived from animals, like musk.

My dear, if you haven’t, start smelling sweet, please. Smelling great can help people give glory to God, because of you.